Blog #15

Dr. Samuel Fongang’s Tribute

February 21, by Ruth Misori

September 5, 1966 – December 6, 2024

It pains me so deeply to think of my favorite uncle in the past tense, but unfortunately, death is a status that no one can ever reverse. In fact, one of life’s most painful lessons for anyone is learning that death is ultimately a part of life, and that everyone unfortunately has a certain timeline. Another painful life lesson is also learning that despite death, life must go on amongst the living and that they must move forward, regardless of its many challenges. While grief is very difficult to handle, I was still taught this important lesson at a younger age. This topic of death was introduced to me through the loss of loved ones, relatives, and church members. While I naturally took the time to grieve the individuals I’d lost, it was admittedly brief (with the exception of a few church members), and I was quickly able to mentally move forward without much trouble. However, that brief grieving process inevitably changed when I received a dreadful phone call from my father that my favorite uncle in the entire world had tragically passed away in a car crash.

I was immediately distraught and tearful because my uncle, Dr. Samuel Fongang was one of the kindest, most generous, and friendliest man that I’ve ever known, and to learn that he suddenly died in a way that was the opposite of peaceful was very traumatic, and I questioned why such a terrible fate befell him. Well, I have a confession: Dr. Fongang wasn’t biologically my uncle, nor was he technically my father’s brother. However, He was good friends with my father for over ten years, which is how I met him and his family, and we instantly clicked. He was so funny, optimistic, compassionate, and jovial. He always referred to me as ‘daughter’ whenever he spoke to me, which is why I am so confident in referring to him as a relative of my family because of how eagerly he welcomed my family and me into his. He made sure that I knew that I was not a stranger and that I was always welcome to come and visit him whenever I’d like.

In fact, thirteen years ago, he and his family came over to my house in my hometown for a visit to let us know that he was moving to Dallas for work, so my family and I wanted to make them dinner to bid them a nice farewell. This moment was the most significant part that Uncle Fongang played in my life because before they left, he and I made a promise that I would someday visit him and his family in Dallas, and as of December 2023 on New Year’s Eve, I finally got to fulfill that promise and we had such a wonderful time. Funny enough, every time that I did visit Dallas in the past, I would always ask my dad if I could pay him a visit, but he was usually out of town (he was a travelling nurse practitioner), so I didn’t get the chance to see him then. However, I was so excited to learn that I would be able to see him during my visit to Dallas during Christmastime as this time he would be in town. He wanted to meet us at his church that Sunday on New Year’s Eve, where we had the best reunion.

About fifteen minutes after church service started, I turned around and saw that he and his family had arrived and were seated behind us (we couldn’t sit together because church was a bit crowded), and I immediately grinned from ear to ear as I silently greeted them by mouthing, ‘Hi,’ and shook their hands. After church ended, we went outside to reunite and greet one another with big smiles and hugs because it had been over a decade since we were all together. “It’s so good to see you!” I told Uncle Fongang as I went in for a hug. “I haven’t seen you in a long time, I think I should give you another hug.” He responded as he embraced me into another hug by lifting me from the ground. I immediately melted because one normal hug was not nearly enough to express how much we’d missed each other and that a bear hug was the best way to acknowledge his paternal affection for me. Shortly after our reunion, he decided to take my family and his out to eat at a Chinese buffet, and we had such a blast!

Spending time with Uncle Fongang and his family felt like old times back in my hometown as we were catching up and laughing and taking nice photos to commemorate this reunion that was very long overdue. I will remember and cherish these moments I shared with Uncle Fongang and his family forever. The night before he died, I was washing dishes when a random thought of him suddenly appeared, and I was wondering how he was doing and wanted to call him to wish him well and tell him that I had missed him. Unbeknownst to me, I didn’t receive any warning signs or sense that something bad was going to happen to him the following day, and unfortunately during that random thought, I felt self-conscious about looking weird for calling him randomly to tell him that I loved and missed him, which I deeply regret now because I’m fully aware that he would’ve reciprocated that same message and wished me blessings. Furthermore, he likely would’ve immediately called my dad afterwards to express his gratitude for my gesture. After all, he always called me, ‘daughter,’ so the fact that I even conceived this idea of calling him to tell him that I loved and missed him as weird makes me feel remorseful because it’s the very opposite. It’s beautiful and it’s an act of love. Love was an act that Uncle Fongang demonstrated by making it known to me from the very beginning that I’ve met him that I’m an additional member of his family.

The good news is that despite my last desired words being left unsaid, I know that during the time while he was still alive, he was already aware that I loved him and that he also loved me like one of his own children. In fact, I know he loved his wife and children (Mrs. Manyi (wife), Almira, Samuel Jr., and Ivana Faith (children) so much that his generous affection and care for them will be overpoured into the next Fongang generation who will one day know of him and understand why he was an important person. His kind and jolly spirit was contagious, and I’m incredibly grateful that I got the chance to fulfill our promise by visiting him in Dallas. Dallas will now forever be marked as a symbolic place of glee, remembrance, and great memories. Lastly, let me just say that it was such a massive and tremendous privilege getting to know and love Dr. Fongang as my uncle, and until he hears the loud sound of Jesus’ trumpet, may he rest in peace until we meet again.